January 11, 2011 (This is re-post from a Facebook Note.)

Bulldog today was fierce! Warm-up was 250m row then group warm-up with these really hard PUP things: do a push up, hold plank for 2 secs, roll right and support for 2 secs, roll back for 2, then left for 2 secs, then back to regular plank -- that's 1. We had 5. Then tick-tocks -- push ups where you creep forward one hand at a time, then the group kettlebell warm-up. Let me tell you that I was stuck at the PUP things. It took me forever. I felt every bowl of ice cream and every "I'll start tomorrow" weighing me down -- actually -- pulling me down. After that we did our weight complex: 5, then 3, then 1 with deadlift, close grip snatch, back squat, good morning, and then row. I did 35 lbs. Then the workout: for time: 4 rounds of 400m run, 40 kb swings (20lbs), 20 kb cleans, 10 kb snatch. My time was 37:44. I was very proud and very tired.

So let me say this: I have friends who have suggested that I quit Bulldog and do something gentler. I have never complained about BD, only expressed amazement about what I managed to do with my very overweight, 43-year-old body (well, I might have groaned a few times when I was standing up, but those were not complaints). What these suggesters don't understand is that this is a process -- a wonderful and important process for me: Every time I go to Bulldog there is a point where I think, "I just cannot do that." (Usually I just say, "Oh no" out loud.) Then I think, "Well, I'll give it my best try." Then I do it. Usually it is not pretty -- or even good form. But every time I go through this process, I conquer my own fears about what I cannot do, my own resistance (physical and psychological), my own humiliating PE experiences. And every time I finish a workout (so far I've never not finished), I feel triumphant. TRIUMPHANT!!! And inspired to keep going and to do better next time. For sure Bulldog is not for everyone -- I think that you have to find your own form of movement and do what works for you. But Bulldog is for me. So please stop suggesting tai chi (not that there's anything wrong with tai chi). And thanks again to all my friends who have been so supportive and encouraging!