Old WW post:

Thursday, December 10, 2009
Oof. The last few days have been hard. Two weigh ins have passed since my last post, I think --the day after that post and then yesterday. Up both times and I know why -- I keep eating! The week of the last post I tracked every point and saw that many days were up to 28 points over my daily total and that was after I'd used the 35 bonus points. What did I expect? I think I expected some sort of miracle. Because that's how the scale seems to work sometimes. I've had weeks where I knew I was way over my daily and weekly points, but magically, I lost. I've had other weeks where I stayed within points and was active, but didn't lose. But the thing is, with this time around with WW, I have never been consistent with my tracking, activity, and point maintenance. I've been up and down -- eating, eating, eating or staying OP with points and exercise and in general, not actually tracking. So when I come in to my meeting, I'm never quite sure what will happen. I hope for elation but my general trend is disappointment.

My leader asked, Was this expected? I usually say, Well, sort of. My leader asks, Was it worth it? Generally I say, No, not really, but I guess I'm learning.

But am I learning? I know what to do. I choose not to basically because for some reason, I don't want to. I don't want to track, I don't want to pass over the freezer raid on my husband's drumsticks or skip the meal deal when we have Mexican. Somehow I have to figure out how to acknowledge wanting to eat these things, but then choose not to eat them. When I did the plan before I was in complete control of my environment -- single and alone, my fridge was so healthy and fast food wasn't in my sightline. Now there are temptations everywhere. Temptations I want to learn to deal with -- and *need* to learn to deal with.

I am on break now from my teaching and at home with said temptations and have more time on my hands than I'm used to. Usually I use such free time to worry...and then eat. This week's meeting topic was helpful, so I challenge myself to stay mindful of when I feel tempted to eat and try to channel that energy into a non-feeding activity.

Here goes!