So I googled around and found that Henny Youngman was the comedian who did the shtick that went: "Today I went in to the doctor. I told him it hurts when I do this (bends hand down) and he told me 'Don't do that.'" Classic. Over the last month or so, I've done the food equivalent of this repeatedly -- sans doctor.

I was bound to experiment eventually. It hasn't been hard giving up grains, sugar, dairy, alcohol, processed foods, and corn (did I miss anything?), especially since not having a migraine every day is more than enough positive feedback from my bod. But I was curious to see what would happen with introducing some of the foods not allowed on Whole30. I haven't been on a strict Whole30 lately -- just generally avoiding food that might give me a headache. I started with dairy, food of my people (aka my Wisconsin ancestors). Cow dairy makes for much unhappiness in my intestines. Sheep and goat dairy in moderate quantities is okay. I feel fine having these as possibilities every now and again.

Then I got sick with some horrible virus from hell. I was miserable and craving my comforting Ritz crackers and ginger ale. So I let a little juice back into my life --mixed with club soda. I think it was the reintroduction of the sugar in the juice that started giving my brain ideas. I kind of imagine my brain with an evil planning look on its face (its brain face? hmmm) and my stomach and intestines nervously trembling, "uh, we don't think this is a good idea..."

So I worked a few Hersheys bars into my comfort plan. That led to only a little DIScomfort, but they sure were tasty! Then I tried tacos with corn tortillas and also refried beans. I was surprised that this all went down smoothly. I felt really full and a little groggy afterward, but all is well (enough) even with the magical fruit. I don't see the tacos or even the beans as a problem. But it was letting the sugar back in that opened the door to craving sugary foods with gluten. The brain throws back its... uh... head? and laughs like Vincent Price at the end of Thriller.

Opportunity presented itself in the form of leftover cookies and rush-hour traffic. I'd put the cookies way in the back seat so they wouldn't be as tempting. But I've got long arms and I'm really flexible, so after sitting still in traffic for way too long, I snaked and sneaked and slipped my hand into the bag with the chocolate cookies. Yum! Oh yum! So good! Before I could register any repercussions, I'd downed a couple of coconut butter cookies and super spicy ginger snaps, too. Then I felt guilty. After the guilt came the headache. Different from a migraine -- it was dull, but throbbing, and mostly in the middle of my head. Not too bad, all in all, but definite proof that something in those cookies was not so good for me. So why not have a few more. Yep. The return of my old patterns that I thought were gone for good.

By the next day, the cookies were gone (into mah belleh) and I finally got that raging migraine I had been seemingly looking (and eating) for. Most rational folks would stop there. I did go back to Whole30 eating for a few days and felt much better. So much better that I suffered a bout of selective amnesia when some leftover Munchkins called out from the back seat during another terrible rush hour jam. I downed all 6 in rapid fire succession. This time the headache came swiftly and strongly. Almost like someone punched me in the head. I guess I punched me in the head. By the time I got home, I was experiencing one of my most hated migraines of old: the kind where I stumble in and mumble something like "head ow bed" to my husband, take two tylenol 3s and one relpax and lay in bed or on the couch focusing on my breathing and not puking, just waiting for the first lessening of the pain, the first hope that it will go away. This generally ruins at least one evening and sometimes might seep into the next day. I usually feel depressed, vaguely hung over, and definitely defeated. Why defeated? Because after more than a decade of migraines that grew to be a daily occurrence, I would feel sort of victimized by them. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason and there was no cure.

But this time it was different. I knew exactly what had caused this migraine. And I finally knew exactly what to do to not have this happen again: Don't do that! Don't eat the stuff that causes a headache. Aha!

Since then, I've tried pizza, bread, martinis, and a few other things. Sometimes I get a headache and sometimes I don't. I've tried mostly small quantities, so it could be that having more of these foods more frequently would make me feel worse. But I've learned that I should be more mindful of how sugar and higher carbs seem to lead to cravings for more more more. It's in sticking with protein, healthy fat, and plenty of veggies that I feel at my best and don't actually have these sorts of cravings.

I'll be starting a new Whole30 on January 1st to take down my sugar demons and get back to feeling good. I think this second Whole30 will be interesting and possibly harder because now I know that some non-Whole30 foods don't make me sick, so the temptation to have them will be greater (do you hear my chuckling brain?). But I also know how great I feel when I am following the Whole30 and focusing mindfully on the Whole9, so I will hold on to that as I work through the next month. I'm focusing not just on what I'm eating, but also on getting enough good sleep, keeping my stress levels in check, and moving more (more on this in my upcoming New Year's post). If anyone wants to join me in this next Whole30, there will be a lot of support on Facebook and on the Whole9 website and I would love the company!